I guess I’ll be ultra retro and try Tumblr. I’m keeping my Twitter account because I can TWEET from my desktop and laptop. I have that “mini” laptop which used to be called a Netbook back in the early 2010’s and as I said before, it is running Windows 10 home on a relatively slow ARM processor. I had an actual Netbook then and sold it to our school nurse because APS was too freaking cheap to supply our SPED nurse with any equipment so she had to run to the front office if she wanted to save her charts and orders. No worries, she was smart and retired from that shit school district along with a lot of other smart teachers, APE teachers etc. Yeah, I’m still kind of bitter but I don’t feel like going into it right now. Oh, I’m not bitter at the smart staff that got the hell out of there while the gettin’ was good but at some other folks who made my job then a fucking, living hell on Earth – called ADMINISTRATION both at the school and those “running” the district from the evil twin towers of terror!! Anyway…
I’m trying to enjoy my semi-forced retirement aka permanent disability vacation. I grew to despise SPED (look it up) and now want to write more. I kind of grew to hate writing ’cause I had to do a lot of it that was pure bs and not very fun along with going to hundreds of meetings a year to hear how bad we were and if we didn’t get on the ball we would be replaced – HA! The fucking joke was on them! No one wants those shitty jobs – hell they had to beg a lot of us to stay during the big recession or at least our immediate supervisors did because if there were too many unfilled SPED positions, they would get let go. Would you look at that! I went back to my former topic. “BAD, SPED/teacher! I hope this gets better ’cause so far it’s been a load of bs.
I have never really liked the “It gets better!” campaign because sometimes it doesn’t. I’m not much of an elder gay man cheering-on the “YOUTH” I don’t want anyone to fall into despair or to feel they have to commit suicide but sometimes a celebrity going all Rah Rah on young LGBTQ, or for us older farts, GLBT asses really isn’t gonna do much – some – but not much. The “Show” has got to become the “Be”. We are human beings, not human doings… to misquote some obscure but thoughtful Guru somewhere. It still amazes me that most educated adults in America still don’t know what the root of “human”, humor, humanity, humility, humiliation” is. It’s easy but so common that most of us bypass it… Go on, take a guess – except for you Etymologist/Semanticists/Rhetoricians/Taoists/Zen Buddhists know-it-alls! A lot of English teachers don’t really know it off the bat either. Okay, it’s “humus.” Good old earth, soil, dirt, dust+, ground. We are ALL of the earth/Earth aka human and our first order of being is, well, just being. Earth to earth and ashes to ashes. And yes we are golden and star dust because everything for we humans began in the heart of some or a bunch of stars, billions of years ago. No one book or set of books can ever capture who we really are, where we’re from or what is our purpose or if, indeed, there is one. I know science is real and much of it is explainable but I also know, for myself, that there is something before and beyond science that I can’t explain to but a few who have had many similar experiences and yes I know I will be called a “believer” in “Woo!” Oh well then. I do indeed understand the scientists objection to most religions irrational and overemotional response to being – rules from an invisible god or group of gods that can convey some sense of reality but can’t really explain it without becoming petrified – metamorphosed into stone – dogmatized. If what they believe – that “God” is a rock-the same yesterday, today and tomorrow then “He” is truly dead. “God” is no longer dynamic, living, evolving.
What has all this got to do with gay/lesbian etc. youth in hopeless despair? Well to those whose belief in a fairy tale invisible sky daddy who for some reason writes or “inspires” books to be written with tons of rules that only the elite of his faithful can determine which ones to enforce i.e. those pesky 10 (or more) commandments, and the parts of books that tell you to kill those who don’t believe like the ancient Hebrews did, yeah! I’m looking at you Leviticus! and ignore the ones in that very same book that also impose a sentence of death i.e. wearing mixed fabric cloth, eating shellfish, well then I see why LGBTQ youth are saddened and see no real future. If it is truly to get better, then we adults that have “made it this far” need to BE the real example of what getting better is all about. That getting better isn’t just for the youth either – we oldsters are often thrown away to make way for the young. It doesn’t have to be that way either. And where we can begin is by separating the wheat from the chaff – the nutritious stuff from what we can’t digest.